After a long search, you found the love of your life. It was not perfect, but you connected in so many ways and it was better than being alone. Maybe she didn’t want children but you did. Maybe he said he was looking for a job, but still lived on unemployment. You came from different religious and cultural backgrounds but still shared values. Well, mostly. He insisted that separate vacations were essential to his well being and you did not agree to that. Smoking marijuana daily to soothe himself seemed less harmful than alcohol, but you thought he had an addiction problem.

After searching and searching, you found a great partner you could talk to and have fun with. One day you realize that the differences are too great and the relationship ends. Your heart breaks.

Broken hearts are painful. It feels as though your heart has literally been cut in two. You lose your appetite, and have difficulty sleeping. You take sick days off from work because you can’t get out of bed in the morning. It becomes difficult to socialize, to be around other people. It hurts to feel lost in a crowd.

These are symptoms that come if the relationship meant anything to you at all. It means you are able to attach and find meaning in connecting to another.

Although difficult, these moments of rupture are opportunities.  Peer into the crack in the massive stone of locked psyche and look inside. You may be surprised to discover the soft mystery that makes up the complicated whole of the self that we usually protect in order to live our lives.